Burning Bright
by Ana Hazel
Summary: A collection of Mara Jade-centric drabbles. Written for the Ultimate Drabble Challenge 7 at the Jedi Council Forums.
1. Week 1

**Title:** Burning Bright

**Summary:** Mara Jade-centric drabbles  
**Genre:** drama, introspection, romance, humor, etc.  
**Characters:** Mara Jade, Luke Skywalker, etc.  
**Disclaimer:** Star Wars belongs to G.L and Uncle Scrooge.  
**Notes:** Written for the Ultimate Drabble Challenge 7 at the Jedi Council Forums - 5 prompts a week for 20 weeks.  
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**Week One - Baby; Child; Teenager; Adult; Elderly  
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**Baby**

She was her daddy's little baby. His little princess, his little angel, his little girl. He still found it hard to believe he had participated in making such a precious being.

How fortunate he felt while watching his little baby Mara sleeping in her mother's arms. Despite the dark times the galaxy faced and the death that followed them everywhere, there was still light to be found. There was still hope, there had to be.

Collecting the baby from her mother's arms, he held her close against his heart and silently vowed to never let any harm come to her.

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**Child**

Mara was an adventurous child. She liked to pretend she was an explorer, sent by a secret organization to go where no one had gone before. That explained why she moved around a lot. It wasn't because the dark man chased her family; it was because they were secret explorers sent by the secret organization. That was what her daddy said and Mara always believed her daddy.

She knew she couldn't tell anyone else about their secret adventures - only to mommy and daddy. Mommy had said so.

Her exploits ended the day the dark man caught up with them.

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**Teenager**

There was something void inside of Mara. Even though she was a teenager, she was not an ordinary one. She was an extension of her master's will and she did his bidding unquestioningly.

It was the right thing to do.

At every command the hollowness grew larger, but she didn't notice since the will of the Emperor overtook all her senses.

But sometimes in the dead of night, an ever-growing sense of cold would wake her from her sleep and, for a fleeting moment, she remembered what it was like to live with the warmth of someone who loved her.

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**Adult**

The cold night and the furiously blowing wind made the young adult woman seek shelter in a sleazy cantina lost in the middle of a no-man's town situated in an outer rim world.

_'How the mighty have fallen?'_ She thought bitterly. Just a year ago she had been on top of her world. She held the Emperor's trust and she had her whole life ahead of her. Now look at her, a vagrant struggling to survive the freezing night.

It was all that Jedi's fault. Once again she vowed to fulfill her master's final command.

_'You will kill Luke Skywalker.'_

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**Elderly**

She could not remember ever being so hot and so cold in her life. The fever consumed her body and her mind, mixing her dreams and her memories in a soup of hallucinations. Her past and her present mingled with visions of a future. She saw herself as an old woman, standing on a terrace next to an elderly man with bright blue eyes. He spoke to her and his voice blended with voices from another time - a chorus saying _'I love you, Mara.'_

She didn't realize it then but when the fever finally broke, Mara began to heal.


	2. Week 2

**Week Two - Healthy, Injured, Sick, Stressed, Frustrated**

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**Healthy**

Mara had always been a healthy person. She hardly ever got the flu or felt nauseated, she could endure every single headache with only a simple painkiller. She had never called in sick in her life - not while working for the Empire, not while working in all those slimy places after the Emperor's death, not while working for Karrde or for the Smugglers Alliance, and most certainly not after becoming a Jedi.

As a matter of fact, she hadn't been to a doctor in years, if she didn't count those annoying mandatory checkups.

So why was this happening now?

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**Injured**

It was true that she had been injured enough times in the line-of-duty and, for most of those injuries, she had to be committed to a medical facility, but that was it, and as of late she didn't even need that much. She'd just use the Force to heal herself the way Luke had taught her to do. It was definitely more comfortable than having to stay put in some medical ward somewhere.

Mara really hated medical wards. It wasn't that she had anything against them, per say, but she'd just rather stay the hell away from them.

She groaned.

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**Sick**

Mara had started feeling sick about two weeks earlier. She felt this overall weariness and nausea that kept her from performing her usual duties to the Jedi and the Academy.

At first she had tried to hide it from her husband, but Luke was too attentive to not notice. When he realized she wasn't getting better, he made her promise to go see a healer. He even made the appointment for her.

He would be damned if he allowed Mara to not take proper care of herself. If he had to, he would drag his wife to the healer's office.

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**Stressed**

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As she waited her turn at the healer's ward, Mara was sure she had never felt so stressed before. She knew this wait was normal and that Cilghal was a very busy healer but still, couldn't they just get on with it? Luke was no help to her. Even though he appeared his usual calm self, she could feel his nervousness boiling under the surface.

When they finally got in, it took Cilghal a whole of two minutes to diagnose Mara.

"Mara, you are pregnant." The Mon Cal informed matter-of-factly.

What?!

Just as Mara frowned, Luke beamed at the news.  
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**Frustrated**

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It took a while for Mara to get used to being pregnant. She was happy, she really was, but the fact that it was completely unplanned made her feel so unprepared for the task.

It didn't help that Luke was so overprotective. Everywhere she went and everything she did, he was there 'helping' her when she didn't need any help. His sister was even worse, offering advice Mara hadn't asked for and buying stuff that Mara didn't even know she needed.

Mara knew that she had to put a stop to this or risk being one very frustrated pregnant woman.


	3. Week 3

**Week Three- Attraction, Love, Commitment, Marriage, Anniversary**

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**Attraction**

When had her attraction first started? Thinking back, way back, it had always been there, lurking in the back of her mind, like a destiny awaiting fulfillment. Even when she had first heard his name, or rather read it in some computer station in the Emperor's library, it had sparked a strange sort of recognition.

She hadn't known what it was then, she wasn't sure what to call it now, but there it was - the everlasting spark. Even in the darkest years of her life, the command her master had implanted inside her could not put the spark out.

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**Love**

How hard was it to admit to being in love? How hard would it have been to reach out and say: "_Hi, how are you? I would really like to see you. Will you meet me some time?"_

But time passed and every day it became harder and harder to take that step. Sometimes time has a strange way of complicating the simplest things.

But not even time could close that door permanently, not when love is true, and theirs was.

In the end, all they had to do was to open their hearts and allow the feeling to flow.

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**Commitment**

Why had commitment been hard for her? She could commit. She committed to Karrde's organization whole bodily and to the Empire before that. So why had it been such an issue to commit to the Jedi?

That was it, right? That was the problem. Committing to the Jedi would claim more that her hard work and her time. It would claim her heart and she needed to protect her heart. It had been hurt enough. She would not let it be hurt again.

When she realized he would cherish her heart, she gave it willingly and got his in return.

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**Marriage**

Who proposes marriage in a situation like that? Who thinks of the future when death is so near? He would, and by doing it he gave her a testimony of his feelings:

_'No matter what, not matter when, no matter how, no matter how long, I want to be with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.'_

She was so touched by the intensity of his love, by his willingness to love her and only her, that all she could do was say: _'Yes, I will.'_

This was the beginning of their wonderful life together.

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**Anniversary**

Was this really their first anniversary? Had she survived her first year of marriage?

People said the first year was the hardest. It was the period of time when two people learn to live together, which was why many chose to only get married after an amount of time of living together. But their engagement had been short, their decision adamant, and the adjustment period had only come after the wedding. They were sure they would make it and they did. They accepted each other's differences and allowed their love to smooth over the rough edges.

She knew it would last.


	4. Week 4

**Week Four - Snow, Sand, Water, Heat, Clouds**

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**Snow**

If anyone would have asked Mara Jade what working conditions she disliked the most, she would have answered snow. Snow was not suitable as a working environment, especially if one's line of work was to fulfill whatever command the Emperor gave her. It was not like Mara would ever get her next target to choke on white flakes or have him freeze to death under a pile of the stuff. That was silly.

She really thought she would never find a worse working environment than snow, but that had changed when she had arrived in the Force-forsaken planet called Tatooine.

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**Sand**

Mara Jade had already decided she really hated sand. She had only just arrived on that sandy planet and already the dust was everywhere. It itched and scratched and made her oh so uncomfortable. The damned granules had already infiltrated the seams of her lightsaber and of her blaster. Her Master would not be pleased if her lightsaber malfunctioned because of sand. Before positioning herself in an advantageous lookout point, she cleaned away the sand from her weapons.

Now she just had to wait for that stupid farm-boy-turned-rebel to show up and attempt to release his friend.

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**Water**

Mara Jade would have given anything for a bottle of water. It was so damn hot in this place and she had to dance and dance and dance for all those filthy bounty hunters and for the filthiest being of all, Jabba. For a split second Mara felt sorry for the Princess who had ended up shackled to the Hutt. He was so discussing. Maybe this time Mara would bend her Master's rules and also rid the galaxy of the slimy creature.

If only the stupid farm-boy would should up already so she could complete her mission and blast this place.

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**Heat**

Mara Jade couldn't believe the stupid Jedi had slipped through her fingers. She was so angry she could scream.

Where the hell was that kriffing pit anyway? And why on Mustafar did that idiotic Hutt have to put up such a performance just to execute his cursed prisoners? What was wrong with putting a blaster against their heads and shoot? The whole thing was ludicrous. The Hutt was asking for trouble and Mara's gut told her he would get it.

That was why she was tracking the barge down under the sizzling heat. She had to make sure Skywalker died.

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**Clouds**

When Mara saw the clouds of smoke up ahead she knew it was too late. Still, she made her way to the wreckage. She had to have confirmation that her mark had indeed gotten away so she could report it accurately to her master.

After she did a complete inventory of the casualties, and indeed verified that none of the rebels were among them, Mara prepared her account to the Emperor. She knew she would pay for her failure and she could only hope that she would be given the chance to make amends.

Mara Jade would not fail again.


	5. Week 5

The next set of drabbles is Mara Jade in the first person. It's an experiment. ;)

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**Week Five - Seek, Sneak, Steal, Share, Sell**

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**Seek**

To seek out the truth was always a huge part of this Emperor's Hand's mission statement. Even though I was considered an assassin, I took pride in only executing the guilty. It was something I lived by; a huge part of why I was proud to serve my Master. The Emperor knew my methods and approved of them. Or so I thought.

Much later I learned that some of those I had found to be innocent were killed anyway by the Emperor's command. For some unknown reason, he found them wanting. My mission statement was just another of his lies.

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**Sneak**

To sneak into someone's guarded fortress was always one of my favorite parts of the job. In my early years as a Hand I liked to pretend I was a child pretending to be a spy on a mission of vital importance. Pretending it was all a game helped me to control my nervousness.

But deep inside I knew, if someone caught me I was as good as dead. My Master would not be forgiving. He would forget he had sent a thirteen year-old to do a grown being's job and he would punish me as he would an adult.

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**Steal**

Sometimes I had to steal to get the job done. Usually, it was some secret document that could make or break some imperial dignitary. It was necessary and I did it without thinking twice. It didn't bother me one bit. My Master commanded and I obeyed. I even had fun with it, it was like another game.

Later, after my Master died and the Empire began to crumble, I had to steal for other reasons. I had to steal to survive, to eat, to manage a roof over my head.

So, why did that bother me so much more?

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**Share**

One thing that was never a part of my training was how to share. I worked alone. My Master liked it that way; he liked me independent. And I liked to be unique. I was like an only child that didn't want to share her father with any siblings.

Maybe that was why it was so important to him that I believed I was the only one he trusted. I was special, his only Hand.

I can't begin to explain how betrayed I felt when I found out I wasn't the only one after all. I was so stupid then.

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**Sell**

I would never sell myself. Not to anyone, not for anything. It is a matter of pride. When I worked for the Empire it, was because I believed in what I was doing. I believed it was the right thing to do. I was wrong, but I believed I was right.

Call me stupid if you want. I know I was naive. But one thing _no one_ can ever say about me was that I sold myself to the highest bidder.

In my life, I did a lot of things I'm ashamed of, but _that_ one I never ever did.


	6. Week 6

This week's set takes place in my '_Whispers of the Force'_ universe. The twins referred in **Silly** are my OCs Serena Samira.

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Week** Six - Serious, Rude, Charming, Silly, Funny**

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**Serious**

"Why are you so serious all the time?" Someone had asked her a long time ago. At the time she had thought it was a stupid question, but now she knew better. Now she could allow herself to look back and acknowledge her sullen moods. Back then all her smiles were smirks and she never ever laughed.

Had she ever laughed at all? She couldn't remember.

But as of late, that had changed. In the past month or so, Mara had found herself lighter than she'd ever been before.

She wouldn't admit it, but she knew when the change had begun.

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**Rude**

She could be downright rude sometimes. She'd snap at anyone who happened to call on her attention. Like a thorny rose, she'd prick whoever tried to get too close.

The ones who knew her recognized that she was just being defensive that way and the ones who _really_ knew her were able to get past the thorns and touch her heart.

One above all others even managed to plant seedlings in her heart. When the seedlings bloomed, she began to change.

But of course, some thorns always remained. Mara Jade wouldn't be herself without them, now would she?

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**Charming**

"You are absolutely charming today, Mara."

She raised an eyebrow at his remark "Are you saying there are days when I'm not charming, Skywalker?"

"That would never cross my mind." he smiled, placing his arm around her waist. "Besides, it wouldn't be true. Please, allow me to rephrase my earlier statement - you are _always_ charming."

"That's better." She rewarded him with that special smile she kept just for him. This time, he didn't think it was enough and leaned in for a kiss.

"If you keep this up we're going to be late."

"It wouldn't be the first time."

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**Silly**

"You're being silly, Skywalker! Why would you even consider something like that?"

"Because, Jade, I really think this is the best choice for me. I mean, think about it-"

"Yeah, no! I will _not_ indulge in such nonsense. I don't care how you put it, it's silly."

"Come on Mara, you know you want to buy matching clothes for our twins. Imagine them with matching pink dresses and little white sandals."

"Skywalker - one, I'm not letting you buy matching outfits for the girls; and two, newborns don't need sandals."

"You're a spoilsport, Mara Jade."

"It's Mara Jade _Skywalker_!"

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**Funny**

"Isn't it funny how things turned out?" Mara asked her husband just as they were walking out.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you and me. Did you ever think that that woman who wanted to kill you so much would end up as your wife and mother of your children?"

"I'll admit to some fantasies about that."

"Okay. And when did you fantasize about that, smartypants?"

"Oh... it might have started back on Myrkr."

"Farmboy and his fantasies." She shook her head, smiling. "Now let's go, Skywalker or we'll miss our son's wedding. The girls are waiting for us."


	7. Week 7

**Week Seven - Stormy, Trapped, Escape, Rescue, Recover**

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**Stormy **

Something was raging inside her that day. Everyone on board could tell and none wanted to confront Mara Jade and her **stormy** mood. Even Talon Karrde knew better than that. So when she told him they had to come out of hyperspace right then and there, he didn't argue. He didn't even query. Karrde just gave the order.

The last thing her boss expected to find at that point in space was a drifting X-wing.

At that time, Mara knew she had some serious explaining to do, and no amount of bad humor would help her evade her boss's inquiry.

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**Trapped **

Mara could hardly believe it. She wasn't quite sure how it had happened. She had just felt that urge to bring out the ship on that moment and in that place. Pure dumb luck or proddings of the Force? She didn't know and she really didn't care. After all, it all added up to the same thing. The time had finally come. After all these years, she had finally **trapped** Luke Skywalker and finally, FINALLY, she would be able to fulfill her Master's last command. This time she would not fail.

So, what the hell was she waiting for anyway?

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**Escape**

How on Kessel had that damned Jedi managed to **escape** right through her fingers? Mara mused as the Wild Karrde skulked away from Myrkr. First, he had escaped the smuglers' compound (Mara still wasn't sure how) and forced her into a daredevil chase through the trees. Then, he had managed to evade her wrath while trekking through the forest after they both had crashed the _Skyprays_ and now he had just walked away from her at Hylliard City.

And all the while the Emperor's voice echoed in her brain - _You will kill Luke Skywalker._

_Shut up you stupid voice!_

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**Rescue**

Mara couldn't help but feel guilty when Grand Admiral Thrawn took Talon Karrde prisoner. Once again, this new Empire disappointed her and made her renew her vow to _not_ serve it ever. Instead, Mara turned to her nemesis. She went to Skywalker and proposed a trade - she would hold off on killing him if he helped her **rescue** Karrde from the _Chimaera_.

She knew beforehand that the Jedi would take her bargain and she had every intention of honoring it.

In the back of her mind, Mara knew that she really didn't want to fulfill that last command.

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**Recover**

What a crazy year! Meeting Skywalker, breaking Karrde out of confinement with him, fighting for the Katana fleet, finding out about the clones, saving the Solo twins from kidnapping, telling the Alliance about the Emperor's cloning facility and leading Skywalker's team there, fighting a deranged Dark Jedi and Skywalker's clone... and all the while hearing the Emperor's last command playing over and over in her head until she finally decided to deny it once and for all and saved the blasted Jedi instead.

Mara knew it had been worth it, but right now she just needed to **recover** from it.


	8. Week 8

This week's prompts were a challenge, especially **Prank**. That's why the set came out a bit... '_funny_'.

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**Week Eight - Mistakes, Corrections, Prank, Sabotage, Revenge**

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**Mistakes**

Everybody makes **mistakes**, but Mara Jade learned at a young age that it was best if she made hers during her training sessions. It would be far too dangerous if they happened while on assignment. This was why she trained relentlessly, following her instructor's directions without questioning them.

She never needed to be told twice. In fact, it was common knowledge among the instructors that Mara Jade was probably the best imperial operative in training they had ever trained.

After all, she had the best motivation of all - Mara Jade wanted to make her Master, the Emperor, proud.

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**Corrections **

**Corrections** were an important part of her training. Whether done by her instructors or by herself, Mara was perfectly aware of their importance. It was impossible to be the best if one did not acknowledge one's faults and strive to make them null, and Mara Jade strived to be the best.

This exercise took a bit of humbleness on her part and that was one of the first corrections her first instructor pointed out and it was one of the hardest to correct. She still struggled with it.

You see, it was not in Mara Jade's nature to be humble.

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**Prank**

One of her tests, set by an instructor, was to plan and conduct a **prank** on a designated target. The objective was to not get caught. The rules were that it had to be something visible, so that there would be no doubt as to the fact that a prank was indeed taken place. It didn't have to be necessarily funny, but there would be extra points for originality. Finally, the subject of the prank would be chosen, not by Mara or her instructor, but by the Emperor himself.

When the Emperor chose Vader as the target, Mara's usual confidence faltered.

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**Sabotage**

What kind of trick would she pull on Lord Vader? It wasn't easy to think of anything knowing beforehand that the Dark Lord would most likely sense her mischief. The only thing that kept her from admitting she wasn't up to the task was the fear of disappointing her Master. Naturally, her pride also helped a lot.

It took several days for Mara to put together and execute her plan and she kept every aspect to herself.

Only when accounts came through of Vader's TIE spinning out of control after exiting the _Enforcer_ did her instructor learn of her **sabotage**.

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**Revenge**

Mara could hardly enjoy her success and her Master's praise. From that point on, and for a long time after, she feared that Lord Vader would learn of her prank and seek out **revenge**. She knew he had been furious over the fact and she suspected that the only reason no one had died was that every living soul that witnessed the event had wisely kept out of the Dark Lord's range. Mara was relieved to learn of that. Very relieved!

One thing was sure, Mara Jade would not be doing anything like that any time soon and hopefully never again.


	9. Week 9

**Week Nine - Enemy, Attack, Negotiate, Truce, Friend**

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**Enemy**

It wasn't easy to swallow her pride and ask for the help of her **enemy**, but Mara Jade was determined to rescue Talon Karrde and she knew she needed the Jedi's help. So, she would do it. She would gobble up her hatred, seek out Skywalker and ask for his help.

He wouldn't deny her his help, would he? After all, he did owe her one – she hadn't killed him back on Myrkr and had allowed him to get away unscathed. Well, almost unscathed. For a moment Mara wondered if his face had already returned to normal. She secretly hoped so.

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**Attack**

The last thing Mara expected upon arriving on the planet Jomark was being the target of an **attack** perpetrated by Skywalker's new Jedi Master. If she hadn't remembered to bring the ysalamir lizard, she would have been in big trouble. At least it made Skywalker see that his new Master was not that good of a Jedi. After all, what kind of a Jedi Master attacks innocent people without the slightest provocation. Not that Mara Jade ever considered herself innocent or unwilling to provoke; that was definitely not her. But still, the old man's reaction had been considerably exaggerated.

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**Negotiate**

"You help me rescue Karrde from the _Chimaera_ and I don't kill you right this minute." This was the basic line Mara used to **negotiate** with Skywalker and get him to help her get her boss back safely. Was there something wrong with her bargain? If there was, she couldn't see it. Besides it worked, didn't it. Skywalker hadn't just taken his X-wing and his astromech droid and left her standing there, looking like a fool. It had worked and that was all that mattered.

Now she had to figure out how to keep her end of the deal.

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**Truce**

The tentative **truce** Mara concocted with Skywalker was a hard one to keep. It wasn't easy for her to ignore the Emperor's last command. No matter how much she tried to push it down, it kept creeping up at the worst possible times; it kept her awake during rest hours and alert when she should be relaxing.

Skywalker thought her edginess came from her distrust of him so he tried to show her his true calm and compassionate nature; he didn't know the Emperor's voice rang louder when he did that. And the louder it got, the more Mara fought it.

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**Friend**

It took time for Mara to get rid of the Emperor's last command and even longer before she could get over her awkwardness around Skywalker, but both of them knew, and would eventually admit to each other, that the first step towards that friendship was taken when Mara asked for Luke's help and he accepted her truce and helped her infiltrate the _Chimaera_ and rescue Karrde.

Many years later, the former Emperor's Hand would finally admit that the Jedi had been the best **friend** she had ever had. It was part of what had made her fall in love with him.


	10. Week 10

**Week Ten - Sky, Sun, Moon, Stars, Lightning**

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**Sky**

The little girl liked to look at the **sky**. It was big and blue and it was everywhere. All she had to do was to go outside and look up and it was there. Her mommy told her that that was where her daddy had gone. Mara hoped he would be back soon, so then they could go catch butterflies together. She missed her daddy very much.

In the meantime, she would be a good girl and do what her mommy told her. She would make sure to never show anyone the special things she could do. It was very important.

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**Sun**

She liked it when the **sun** was shining, it mean that she could go outside and play. And if it was warm enough, her mommy would let her play in the lake. Mara liked that very much.

Sometimes, other kids would come and play with her, although her mommy didn't like it very much. She was afraid Mara would tell them something she shouldn't, like that they were hiding from a very bad man and that her daddy was out fighting the bad man. So mommy kept a close eye on her while she played with the other children.

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**Moon**

The **moon** came out when the day was ending - Daddy had told Mara that a long time ago, just before he left. It meant that it was time to go to sleep. Everybody went to sleep when the moon came out and so did Mara. Every night, Mommy would tuck Mara in and tell her a story. Her favorite story was of how mommy and daddy had met - it was a fantastic story with a lot of bad guys and daddy had rescued mommy from them.

Then mommy would kiss Mara goodnight and tell her to go to sleep.

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**Stars**

Sometimes it was hard to fall asleep after mommy left. Then Mara would just lie there, on her bed, and look out the window towards the **stars**. They were so many, too many for a little girl to count, but she would try anyway. One day she would count all the stars in the sky. Someday, she would visit them all.

While she counted them, Mara tried to guess each one would be closest to her daddy and then she would send him a quiet call: _'Come home, daddy, come home. I miss you very much and so does mommy'._

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**Lightning**

One night there was a **lightning** storm. Mara didn't like the lightning and thunder and ran out of bed and into mommy's. Mommy told her that there was nothing to be afraid of, that this was as natural as rain, but Mara was not convinced. She wished daddy was there to make the storm go away.

That night she slept with mommy and wished for her daddy to come home. She wished it with every fiber of her being, but inside, deep inside, Mara already knew - her daddy would never come home again, and Mara cried herself to sleep.


	11. Week 11

This week's drabbles take place in my WotF/HIMYM AU Universe.

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**Week Eleven - Fun, Play, Laugh, Games, Vacation**

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**Vacation**

Once upon a time, a long time ago, Mara Jade would have scorned at the being who dared to mention the word **vacation** to her. It was a waste of time, she believed. Certainly unnecessary. After all, what better way to spend every day of her life then at the Emperor's service?

But, since then, her life had changed in such a way she had believed impossible. Now she was a wife and a mother and a Jedi Master, and she certainly appreciated a vacation. In fact, she made sure her family had at least one extended vacation every year.

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**Fun**

The Skywalker children always looked forward to this time. The days anticipating the trip were always a fuss of packing and running around and _'this is mine and that is yours' _and _'Mommy, where's my dolly?'_

The twins always wanted to help her pack all the bags, although they always managed to make it more confusing than it should be. But what the hell, it was all part of the **fun**.

And in the meantime, while Mara and the girls packed everything, the _men_ of the family prepped the _Jade Shadow_ for departure. It was _their_ version of fun.

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**Play**

The trip to their chosen destination took, travelling at the _Shadow's_ full speed, the better part of a day, but the kids didn't complain. They had plenty to do aboard. Whether it was assisting Mom in the cockpit or helping Dad in the lounge, or even ducking Nana's constant vigilance, there was certainly a lot to **play** with. More times then not, the Skywalker children tired themselves out halfway through the voyage and gave their parents a much needed break.

While Mara and Luke watched them sleep, they always offered a silent thanks to the Force for their fantastic family.

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**Laugh**

Upon arrival, unpacking was another feast. The little twin girls would insist on putting all the family's clothes in the assigned closets on their own, but would end up mixing up everything or hanging the items upside down or inside out.

Ben said his sisters did it on purpose. He clamed they wanted to see him wearing his mother's leggings as a hat and would put them on over his head to demonstrate, which made the four year-old girls start laughing out loud.

The children's **laugh** was music in their parents' hears. They couldn't help but join in too.

.

**Games**

There were a lot of **games** to be played during their vacation and the Skywalker children made sure to play them all at least once. Of course, they preferred the ones they could share with their parents like hide-and-seek and tag. It was fun to watch the Grand Master playing catch with three kids. After all, it was the essence of a family vacation.

Between trips to the beach, the holotheater and the playground, these days went by quickly. Soon after, it was time to go home. The family didn't mind, they knew they could still have fun in their everyday life.


	12. Week 12

This week - Luke's thinking of Mara while on his way to Nirauan.

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* * *

**.**

**Week Twelve - See, Hear, Smell, Sense, Touch**

**. **

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**See**

He had had visions before. Terrible ones, painful ones. But, to his recollection, none had ever caused him this much grief. To **see** her floating lifeless in a pool of water had been breathtaking.

He had to do something, but what? What could he possibly do to stop his vision from becoming a reality? How could he thwart her destiny? What if, indeed, this was her destiny and there was nothing he could do about it? Was he even able to stop it? Would the Force allow him to step in?

The doubts were overwhelming and almost froze him in place.

.

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**Hear**

When Talon Karrde confirmed Mara was missing, Luke felt the floor shake beneath his feet. This was it, he instantly knew. She was in danger and it was in his grasp to help. He had to go after her, he simply had to go for it. No Force in the galaxy would stop him.

It was urgent and absolutely necessary. He had to get there in time, even if there was halfway across the galaxy. If he could only **hear** her voice one more time, he knew he could save her. He had to. His heart depended on it.

.

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**Smell**

Her **smell** was all over her ship. A constant reminder of her absence and of the endless possibilities that had never developed. He didn't dare to think of the wasted potential that was their relationship. A myriad of missed chances and ignored signals. He would not dwell on them, not now that his sole attention was on saving her. For now, her ship was just that – a transport that would take him to her in time, before the worst happened.

While flying her ship, Luke would only allow himself to think of finding Mara Jade, nothing more.

.

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**Sense**

He had no **sense** of her in the Force and that troubled him deeply. It could be just that she was too far or because she was untrained, or some other such a simple reason like that, but still, it bothered him far more than he cared to admit. Luke had never allowed himself to admit the real reason why her absence left him hollow inside. He still wasn't willing to think of it, while searching for her. Maybe later, if he found her alive, he would bring himself to acknowledge them.

But not now, just not now. Later... maybe.

.

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**Touch**

When he landed on the planet Nirauan, Luke extended his senses to find her. He wanted nothing more than to **touch** her, feel her presence in the Force. It took him a little while, but then suddenly there she was, just as strong and bright as always. She was alive and well and made his heart leap in his chest. Soon they would be together again. They would face whatever danger was around and, together, they would win. She would not die, he would not let her – that was what _together_ meant.

And after that, something inside him whispered that their lives would change forever.


	13. Week 13

**Week Thirteen - Past, Present, Future, Memories, Expectations**

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**Past**

I don't like to remember my **past**; all I find there is deceit. The most important figure in my life, my Master, lied to me and tricked me into doing his bidding. He had me kill for him. He told me it was the right thing to do - to eliminate the traitors. I believed him.

True, many of my marks were indeed foul, disgusting little men with corruption running through their veins, but what about the others, the ones who's only sin was to defy the Emperor?

I thought I was in the side of righteousness ... I was wrong.

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**Memories**

I can't remember a time before the Emperor. I have tried to, but I can't. I concentrate and meditate. I breathe in and breathe out, just as Luke has taught me, but I can't remember. Luke says it's because I'm not ready; that when I'm ready they will return to me. He's probably right. He has helped others with similar problems.

Sometimes at night, while he sleeps next to me, I close my eyes and search for my lost family in my blank **memories**. I wish, with all my heart, that I could remember something about them.

I hope one day I will.

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**Present**

Looking back, who would have thought I'd be where I am now. Once the Emperor's Hand, now I am about to become a Jedi. If Palpatine could see me now ... And not only that, I will be marrying the man I swore to kill he ordered me to kill in just a couple of days. I wonder what my former Master would say to that?

I almost wish there a little part of him was still around just so he'd see what I'm becoming. No, never mind, I don't wish that; he'd offer me a curse instead of a **present**.

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**Future**

I have found my **future**, the place where I belong. It is beside Luke Skywalker, as his life companion. If took me a long time to get here. I had to get over so many misgivings. It took a long time for me to forgive myself for the things I did in the past. I'm not sure I have.

But now it's time to move on, it's time to accept my happiness. I will not allow my heart to be held captive by my past any more.

I say it out loud - I love Luke Skywalker and I will marry him.

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**Expectations**

What will this new stage of my life bring? I'm trying to keep my **expectations** real and not let myself be carried away, but I have seen things ... visions, Luke calls them ... Friends, foes, journeys, adventures. Luke there, right beside me every step of the way. And children ... I see children in my future. My, our, children. It's both scary and oh so marvelous.

I am looking forward to what life will bring. I know some things will be hard, but I have no doubt others will be wonderful.

Let life come, I will welcome it with open arms.


	14. Week 14

**Week Fourteen - Castle, House, Hut, Tent, Cave**

** .**

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**Castle**

Despite her young age, she was not overwhelmed by the view before her or by the task ahead. So what if she was about to take out an important member of imperial society, he had done her Master wrong and that was all it took for the Emperor's Hand to take action.

Concentrating, Mara prepared to break into the **castle**. She slid through the darkened corridors, tracked down her target and executed him in the name of the Emperor. By sunrise, the deed was done - one last traitor in the galaxy.

That was the will of the Emperor.

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**House**

It wasn't much of a **house**, more of a ruin really, but at least it offered a certain degree of shelter from the storm, and that was all Mara needed that night – shelter and a place to rest. She needed rest, having been running for days. The cyborg woman, Lumiya had almost caught up with her today and had made Mara loose her lightsaber. It pained her to lose the weapon, not only because it was a weapon, but also mostly because it was her last heirloom from her Master and she missed him terribly. He was a father to her.

.

**Hut**

The sun was rising over the smuggler's base of Myrkr and Mara took the opportunity to do a little recon of the forest. She knew it was dangerous, but she counted on her skills to help her through. This was a strange place for her; she couldn't feel the Force but, at the same time, it felt like a weight had lifted off her. She didn't really understand it, but what the hell, she felt better and that was what was important.

Upon reaching a clearing, a crazy thought crossed her mind – this could be a good place to build a hidden **hut**.

.

**Tent**

If that prissy protocol droid spoke another word, Mara Jade would shoot a blaster bolt at him. So what if they had neglected to bring a **tent**? None of the others were complaining and she certainly wasn't, although she could. As the only female in the group, she could have demanded some privacy. And it wasn't like she felt comfortable being in the middle of Skywalker and his friends. Surely, she much rather be half a galaxy away from them. But she didn't complain!

That was what you got when you brought a protocol droid to a mission like this.

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**Cave**

It was so dark inside that **cave**. So kriffing dark. And all Mara could hear where the sounds of those infernal birds that would let her go.

How had she gotten herself into this mess? Captured by a flock of huge avians while on a recon mission for Karrde and the New Republic. This was all the New Republic's fault – those friends of Luke Skywalker had a knack for getting her into trouble. This was all Skywalker's fault! Yes, his fault!

And if only her head didn't hurt so kriffing much, maybe she could stop thinking about him.


	15. Week 15

**Week Fifteen - Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Aunt**

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**Daughter**

She wished she could remember what it was like to be a **daughter**, but alas, she couldn't. She couldn't remember what it was like to be sung a lullaby, to be caressed until she fell asleep, to be taught to walk or play. All that had been taken away from her and it took her years to even realize that some of those memories, if not all, were supposed to be there.

Without these memories, she felt like half a person. Only when he came and helped her make new memories did she start to feel whole again.

.

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**Wife**

"Did you really say _yes_ to my marriage proposal?" Luke asked through the darkened Chiss ship awaking the slumbering woman next to him.

"Hmmmm. What?"

"Did you say _yes_ to becoming my **_wife_**?"

"No, you dreamed that part."

"Yes, you did."

"If you know my answer so well why do you keep asking?

"Because I still can't believe it."

She turned away from him and took his arm, wrapping around herself. "Well believe it, Farmboy. Now let me go back to sleep."

"Can you say _yes_ to me again before you do?"

"NO!"

"Come on..." He held her tighter.

"Fine. YES! Now sleep."

.

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**Sister**

Leia's eyes were red-rimed and still moist from tears when the ceremony ended. Just as General Ackbar introduced me and Luke as Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker (I'm still not sure I approve of this designation), she was there right before us. First, she gave Luke the typical sisterly Wookiee-hug, she undoubtedly learned from Chewbacca, and then she turned to me, hugged me just as tightly and said in my ear: "You are my **sister** now." I couldn't help but feel the depth of feeling imprinted onto these words. They touched me deeply and I knew them to be the absolute truth.

.

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**Mother**

The last thing I ever expect to be in life was a **mother**, but the very first time I sensed that tiny life growing inside me, it was a done deal - there was nothing I wanted more and nothing I wouldn't do to protect my baby. Up to that time, I thought Luke was overprotective. I'm a thousand times worse. I would sleep with all my senses open and focused on my child. To protect him, I would rip out the guts of whoever threaded my child.

The galaxy knows, no one messes with Momma Mara!

.

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**Aunt**

"**Aunt** Mara, can I talk to you a minute?"

"Sure, Jaina. What's up?"

"I... Did you know I'm about to graduate from the Academy?"

"Of course. I do teach here."

"Yeah..."

"Come on. Out with it."

"Now I need to get a Master so that I can continue my training, don't I?"

"That's how it works."

"Aunt Mara, I'd like it very much if you were my Master."

Mara waited a few seconds before replying. She didn't want to hint that she was expecting Jaina's proposal. "Okay. But you'll have to follow my lead on everything."

"I will Aunt Mara! THANKS!"


	16. Week 16

**Week Sixteen - Assume, Misunderstand, Confuse, Deny, Admit**

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**Assume**

"So, just because I haven't put a blaster-bolt through your chest, you **assume** I'm warming up to you? You are WRONG, Skywalker!"

"I'm not assuming anything. I'm just stating you had plenty of opportunities."

"The only reason you're not dead yet is because I keep finding myself in situations where I need you alive."

_'She needs me.'_ Luke smirked, but refrained to comment aloud. Still, she noticed his expression.

"You'd better wipe that smile off you face or I just might decide I don't need you after all."

Reluctantly, he complied. Maybe after they rescued her boss, she'd be friendlier.

.

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**Misunderstand**

"You **misunderstand** my intentions, Mara," Luke exclaimed trying to keep the blood from rushing to his face. "I am not trying to grope you in any way. I'm just saying that it would be easier for us to keep warm if we used our body heat."

"Nice try, Skywalker! Keep your hands to yourself. I don't need you to stay warm."

"Okay," he shrugged and settled a few feet away, "but don't say I didn't try to help."

What she refused to acknowledge was that the simple thought of his arms around her was enough to turn up her temperature.

.

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**Confuse**

"You **confuse** the hell out of me." She shouted back to him in the middle of their quarrel. "You say you are a Jedi, but you team up with a Sith the first chance you get; you ask me over to your Academy, but when I come you hardly notice me; you fall head over heels for a computer when I'm..."

"When you're what, Mara?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm leaving."

Later, he wouldn't be able to say how long he stared at the door after she left. All he could think about was the hint of the words left unsaid.

.

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**Deny**

Her loud voice could be heard from a distance.

"You are CRAZY, Calrissian! You are KRIFFING out of your MIND!"

"Come on Mara, don't **deny** it! The only reason you agreed to pretend to be dating me was to make Luke jealous."

It was probably fortunate that Mara Jade's blaster had a drained power-pack or Lando Calrissian would have been no more. Instead, he only ended up with a few bruises - his head, from the thrown blaster; his back, from when he hit the floor; and his ego, for passing out.

When would he learn not to confront redheads?

.

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**Admit**

She wouldn't **admit** to it - _never_ admit to it. She would lock the feeling away in the depths of her heart where it would never see the light of day. What would be the point of letting it out if it was unrequited? It would only cause her grief, and she did not need more grief.

She kept telling herself that he didn't care for her that way, that he only saw her as a possible ally, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't forget. She didn't really want to.

How could she possibly know he felt the same?


	17. Week 17

**Week Seventeen - Weapon, Helmet, Shield, Cloak, Transmitter **

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**Weapon**

She was a well-crafted **weapon**. An agent capable of fulfilling her Master's will whatever it may be, and she stopped at nothing to do so. There was no hesitation, no doubt, no fear - only her Master's command mattered. She never faltered.

She had been trained by the best to be the best and she took pride in it. Every skill she ever mastered had the single function of serving her Master. There was nothing else in her life, no other purpose.

She was the Emperor's Hand and it never crossed her mind to be anything else.

.

**Helmet**

The black-clad **helmet** hid her features from prying eyes. It was part of her official outfit, a way for the Emperor's commanding officers to know who she was without knowing her. It was almost amusing to see a Moff who just the previous night was making advances toward her dancer's guise, now trembling underneath her gaze as she handed him her Master's orders. He knew the black-clad trooper before him stood for the Emperor himself. He just didn't know that same trooper was the dancing girl who had enthralled him the night before.

Yes, she was a master of disguise.

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**Shield**

It was important to **shield** her weaknesses when out missions. She knew she had them, she was no fool, and she knew they could be used against her. That was why she tried to suppress them. It was strange, though, how her Master seemed to nurture some of them. If she thought about it - really thought about - she would realize that her Master only encouraged the ones that made her dependent on him, making sure to suppress the ones that cave her character.

Later, she would understand it was a ploy to control her. She would never forgive him for that.

.

**Cloak**

She often conducted her Master's affairs under the **cloak** of night. It was part of her disguise, a part of the mysterious aura she had cultivated as the Emperor's Hand. No one knew who she really was except, of course, the very few people who held the Emperor's trust and those grew fewer every day. It wasn't uncommon for the Emperor to send her to investigate them. In fact, sometimes she wondered if he trusted anyone at all. She hoped he trusted _her_, she believed it, really.

Still that nagging feeling remained, that there was more to trust than what she got.

.

**Transmitter **

A **transmitter** was something those who were not special used. She needed no such thing to contact her Master and that was proof of the strength of their bond. She was proud of it. She was special in the eyes of the Emperor, or so the believed.

When she found out the truth, she felt betrayed, violated even. She vowed never to let anyone else control her like that again. No one would ever be allowed within the depths of her soul again.

It would take a long time before she allowed someone else to get close again.


	18. Week 18

**Week Eighteen - Sing, Talk, Yell, Whisper, Ignore **

** .**

** .**

**Ignore**

From the very first moment they had met, there was a spark. At first, she thought it was hatred, for the things she believed he had done, but as the time went by and she got to know him, she realized it was something else entirely different. It was a pull that drew her closer to him, that made her feel she was at home with him. It was something strong and powerful and it was so very frightening in nature that she feared giving in and getting hurt in the process. That was why she did her very best to **ignore** it.

.

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**Whisper**

There was a **whisper** in the air every time she saw him; a grip that made her want to stay longer than she had to. Something she absolutely had to ignore and fight against.

She couldn't stay. Her life was elsewhere, it was between the core and the fringes of the galaxy, it was not on a jungle moon. She couldn't stay. She did not belong in an Jedi Academy; she was not ready to entrust her life to the Force or to the Jedi Master.

But deep down she knew, she would have stayed if he had asked her to.

.

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**Yell**

Sometimes she wanted to **yell** at him. Well, not sometimes - all the time. She wanted to scream _'DON'T DO THAT'_ or _'LOOK AT ME'_ or even _'LISTEN TO ME'_, but she held back. It wasn't her place intrude in his life. It wasn't like she could make him listen to her. It wasn't as if she could change his mind about whatever it was she thought he was doing wrong. So she held back and tried to stay away. Only she couldn't stay away, so the only thing she could do was shout _'SKYWALKER, STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!_'

.

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**Talk**

It is amazing how a single **talk** can change things. Letting your frustrations pour out of your mouth and see how the other person acknowledges or counters them can be quite cleansing. That was what happened in the caves on Nirauan. When she stated all her misgivings about him, she tore down the wall between them and their relationship was free to flow. And like the waters of the underground river, it did flow, and became so much more than it would have otherwise. It became as large and deep and endless like the ocean.

This was their love.

.

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**Sing**

She loved to watch when he sang to their infant son. He would hold the baby in his arms while rocking him to sleep. This was a side of the great Jedi Master that only she (and their son) got to see; it was private and intimate and so very endearing. It made her love him so much more. Sometimes, she would join in the chorus and **sing** along. It was a family moment.

Sometimes she wondered, though, if the authors of _'Dance, Dance Little Ewok'_ would have ever imagined the significance their song would have to a family.


	19. Week 19

**Week Nineteen - Conquer, Dictate, Rebel, Aftermath, Rebirth **

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**Conquer**

The last few months have been a jumble of emotions. Meeting Skywalker and having the Emperor's voice booming through my brain has taken its toll on me. I am so very tired.

But I can't give in. I _will not_ give in. There is too much on the line. It's not just the future of the galaxy; my very own soul is at stake. Can I make the right decision?

Right before my eyes, Skywalker is engaged in fierce battle with his double. I must do what my conscience tells me.

This night, I chose to **conquer** my own fate.

.

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**Dictate**

It has been a long time since I have allowed anyone other than me to **dictate** my life. I still shiver when I remember the things _he_ made me do. I shiver when I think of the way he tricked me. I was such a fool.

But no more. No one will ever be in control of my existence again. My life is MINE, and I'll be damned if I ever forget it. I would rather die than relinquish control again.

I will never answer to a master again. Now, I am the only master I will answer to.

.

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**Rebel**

Am I too old to **rebel**? I think I read once or twice that you are supposed to question others' authority when you are in your teenage years. I'm long passed my teenage years (how long is _long passed_, anyway?) but then again I don't think I ever went through them anyway; I was too busy being an imperial assassin.

I guess I am rebelling now. I will start by telling Skywalker and his Jedi training to go to hell. I have had enough training to last me a lifetime and I certainly do NOT need another master.

.

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**Aftermath**

In the **aftermath** of the Emperor's death, I was in a shambles. I felt like my world had been destroyed, like my heart had been pulled out of my chest by invisible hands and crushed right before my eyes. The image he sent me while he died told me the culprit; at least I thought it did. As it turned out it was just another lie. Does that make the pain I felt a lie also?

That's it! I will never be lied to again! I have had enough of it to last me two lifetimes. I say NO MORE to lies.

.

.

**Rebirth**

This is what I want now - like the phoenix's **rebirth**, I will rise from my own ashes. I will forge myself as a new woman. I will not look back upon my past with misgivings (I will repeat this to myself until I am able to do it). I will not allow myself to be controlled again. I will be in charge of my own future life and take responsibility for my own future choices. I will not be trapped by my past.

I am no more the Emperor's Hand; I am MARA JADE, and I will LIVE.


	20. Week 20

Well, this is it - the last set of drabbles for this challenge. I hope you enjoyed it and I want to thank everyone for reading and taking the time to review.

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* * *

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**Week Twenty - Father, Son, Husband, Brother, Teacher **

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**Father**

I can't remember my parents. I don't know if I was too young when the Emperor took me from them or if he erased my memories of them. Sometimes, I reach back and search for clues of them in my memories, but I never find more than a flicker, not even a sense of them.

It wasn't until I joined Karrde's organization that I discovered the meaning of family. They took me in and called me their own, made me belong.

In fact, as much as he'd like to deny it, Talon Karrde became the **father** I never had.

.

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**Son**

Children were never in my plans. Honestly, I truly believed I wasn't cut out to be a mother; too many issues, too little patience.

Then it happened. When I found out I was pregnant, I almost panicked. Almost... no, to be honest, I really did panic. I had no idea how to raise a child.

Would I be able to protect him? I think this was the one question that turned me. Of course I would be able to protect the baby, he would be _my __**son**_. I would lay down my life for my child.

That was the end of all doubt.

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**Husband**

I never thought I would get married. Never, ever! If anyone ever told me I would marry I would have had the person committed for insanity. Me - Mara Jade - get married? You're out of your mind.

Now, I am, and to Luke Skywalker of all men. My former self would be stupefied. Then again, I think deep down my former self always knew that, if any man would be my **husband**, it would be Luke Skywalker. He is definitely the only being who would ever change my mind. I guess I have a soft spot for farm boys.

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**Brother**

I don't think I ever had a **brother**. I don't think I ever wanted one, to speak the truth. What good is a brother anyway? I am told a brother keeps an eye on you and help you. He's supposed to embrace you when you're down and smack you when you're acting up.

Let's see - I already have Corran to snark with, Lando to party, Karrde, Avis and Dankin to team up with, Solo to keep tabs on me...

Well, I guess I was wrong when I said I never had a brother, I have a bunch of them.

.

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**Teacher**

Who would have ever thought Mara Jade would become a **teacher**? A raving lunatic, that's who. And yet, here I am, helping Luke train the minds and bodies of future Jedi. Teaching these kids the ways of the Force and helping them to embrace enlightenment. Me! It's still hard to believe.

I have come so far since I was a Hand and my world revolved around the Emperor. Am I still the same person? I guess not, I have certainly changed... evolved, is a better term, I guess. I have evolved.

To think, it all started when I met Skywalker.


End file.
